


Of Alphas and Betas

by tokillthatmockingbird



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen, so what did that look like for them, they spent a lot of time alone together after erica and boyd were gone, this probably isn't what it looked like but there was an attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-06
Updated: 2014-02-06
Packaged: 2018-01-11 10:29:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1171984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tokillthatmockingbird/pseuds/tokillthatmockingbird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Isaac doesn’t know how to describe their relationship except that it’s complicated. Which makes it sound like pre-teens on Facebook, trying to sound more grown up than they really are. But isn’t that what this was? Two kids trying to be adults when they were never really taught how to grow up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Alphas and Betas

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little character/relationship study between Derek and Isaac, for my wonderful anonymous friend Nony! Hope it's to your liking. I had so much to say, but I didn't want to ramble, so this is what I came up with! Enjoy, everyone!

Isaac doesn’t know how to describe their relationship except that it’s _complicated_. Which makes it sound like pre-teens on Facebook, trying to sound more grown up than they really are. But isn’t that what this was? Two kids trying to be adults when they were never really taught how to grow up. Or two kids who grew up too early, whose childhoods were stripped away by tragedy and not by choice.

They’ve got a lot in common, so theoretically, this should work. But even when Isaac is safely tucked into a sleeping bag with a highly competent werewolf sleeping just up the spiral staircase, he misses his father so much it physically pains him. And that wasn’t the deal. Derek said the Bite meant no more pain.

It feels like that’s all there’s been lately.

Isaac doesn’t actively blame Derek for that. He tries to be preventative and proactive, God bless him, but everything seems to crumble between his claws despite his best efforts. And as Isaac spent his youth nervously fucking up every attempted activity, he has no where to place his blame. Sometimes, Derek taught him, blame doesn’t fall anywhere but back into the earth. Sometimes, things just don’t align, and that’s no one’s fault.

That’s awfully comforting to Isaac, that he doesn’t mean a goddamn thing to the fates sometimes. There’s a lot of pressure in needing to impress the cosmos, needing to fall in sync with their plan. Isaac doesn’t like to have people who care about him, wanting him to succeed; that just makes it harder when he inevitably fails.

Derek cares. He cares because he wants Isaac to survive, not to fulfill some ridiculous standard. (Though these days, mere survival does feel like a ridiculous standard to Isaac.)

But Derek lacks the finesse that Isaac needs. The man lives in moral shades of gray 98% of his life, but he knows no sort of subtlety. You pass or you fail. Progress is not enough. Isaac cannot work under circumstances like that. He tries, but sometimes he feels like Derek is setting him up for failure.

Despite crippling panic attacks that sometimes come out of left field, Isaac is easy to live with. His and Derek’s senses of humor match nicely, macabre and self-deprecating but also stupidly boyish at the same time. Isaac is polite and careful, and he takes up small spaces that betrays his size. He is never in Derek’s way, but he is always there when he is needed. It’s a warm feeling for both of them, to be wanted by someone and to have someone to rely on.

So when Derek snapped Isaac’s arm like a twig, the betrayal ran so deep in Isaac’s bones that he shut himself off for a few days, running on a self-protective autopilot. He couldn’t reconcile the man who saved him from the bottom of that literal and figurative pit with the man who used brute strength against him. Derek was supposed to be his savior, not a stronger, werewolf version of Isaac’s father.

Derek apologized in his own way, eventually. He tossed a bag of Isaac’s clothing at his feet and walked away before Isaac could ask how he got them. Since his house was shut down and labelled as a crime scene, Isaac had been living out of whatever belongings he could shove in his backpack before the CSI team snooped around. He buried his face into one of his cardigans and noticed that they didn’t smell like Home to him anymore.

Whatever he and Derek and Erica and Boyd had created was something like a home, but more flighty. They all felt in their bones that there was a chance they would have to pack up and leave at a moment’s notice. They lived a semi-permanent, shapeless life together in the subway car. It wasn’t comfortable or extravagant, but it was safer than Isaac ever felt with his father.

Isaac and Derek created a dance around each other. Mutual respect and fear and support. They were two people who knew a lot of loss and a lot of pain, but they were hardwired to feel that in different ways. The first time Isaac had a panic attack, Derek had stood by hopelessly and stared; he couldn’t imagine his pent up emotions culminating in something so violently self-destructive. Derek preferred destroying _other_ things, and Isaac identically didn’t understand.

For a long while, they didn’t much try to understand each other. They just existed in each other’s space and were there with tooth and claw to defend each other if need be. But mutual living space created an environment in which they learned, even if they weren’t actively trying. Soon enough, Derek knew that Isaac desperately needed to feel protected, and Isaac knew that Derek needed someone to successfully protect.

Derek played the role dutifully, so well that there was a day that Isaac didn’t need to be protected anymore, and Derek felt part of himself go hollow. _That was the point_ _of training him_ , he reminded himself. But in some ways, he felt empty. If he was an Alpha with no one to protect, what was the point of him anymore?

 

“Derek, can I asked you a question?” Isaac asks one night. He is laying across the floor, straight and narrow, books tucked neatly at his side. This is what he considers “leaving a mess”, though Derek never makes a fuss out of the clutter.

“Yeah, sure,” Derek answers, lowering his book. He straightens, readies himself to help with biology homework or pre-calculus, whatever Isaac is currently fighting. He hears Isaac’s pulse rush, and he struggles to his feet in premature haste to hold back what seems to be a panic attack. But Isaac’s voice is calm when he speaks, and Derek holds back.

“Do you think,” Isaac starts and then clears his throat. “Do you think I killed my dad?”

It’s a loaded question, especially for Isaac, and when he looks up from his notes, his blue eyes are wide and hopeful and scared.

“No.” Derek is quick to the answer, and he’s honest. “Why would I think that? We both know it was Jackson doing it.” Or, rather, it was Matt. He thinks. He can barely keep track of who’s the murderer and who’s the murdered anymore.

“Because my dad was out chasing me that night,” Isaac admits, and Derek watches color rush to his cheeks. “If he would have stayed at home…”

“Isaac, you were running away from him after he threw a vase at you and threatened to lock you in a freezer. If he didn’t want to be out chasing you, he shouldn’t have been treating you like a punching bag,” Derek says bluntly.

He has that way of being brutally honest. Most people sugarcoat Isaac’s past to him, like if they say safer words then the nightmares will be easier for him to handle. But there is little that is soft about Derek Hale. He doesn’t treat Isaac like he’s breakable, and in some capacity, that’s exactly what Isaac needs.

“Yeah, maybe,” Isaac says, not convinced. He runs a pencil over the pages in his notebook, jagged lines that mean and say nothing, just a current in which he can channel his nervous energy. “Hey, when’s dinner?”

“I offered you some an hour ago, and you said you weren’t hungry!”

“Yeah, but I’m hungry _now_.”

Life for them was surprisingly domestic sometimes.

 

When Derek throws the glass at Isaac’s head, it’s not as if he doesn’t know what he’s doing. On the contrary, he knows exactly what he’s doing, which is why he knows it will work. Derek thrives off physicality, and he knows he’ll never find the words to explain the gravity of the situation to Isaac in a way that would make him understand that he _can’t stay_.

Throwing him out is hard, but watching him die would be harder. It’s not a real excuse, but it’s all Derek has. At least if Isaac hates him, he won’t have any desire to come back. As long as he stays far away, he’s safe.

But that’s the thing about Isaac. He comes back. There’s pent up anger there sometimes, and he’s never there for long, but he comes back with a straighter spine and brighter eyes, and Derek starts to realize that Isaac needed to go for more than personal safety. His part as an Alpha was to get Isaac to the point that he could find himself, and he had done it. It used to feel empty, but now he’s just proud.

At least one of them can stand on their own.

  
  



End file.
